Tag Archives: Faith

The Fly Girl Guide is changing! Be in the know NOW!

4 Oct

Hi Dolls!

@FLYCARLA here and I have missed updating The Fly Girl Guide but I am still writing and I have great things in the works! I am starting a new website called Style and Grace and it will launch in about a month. Style and Grace is a delightful blend of high- fashion and Christianity. Although I loved updating my fly girls with the latest fashion new, sample sale drama and parties, I wanted to change it up and create something more meaningful.

Until the launch, I still have great things to hold my fly girls over. I have a radio show called Style and Grace radio that takes place every Monday at 10:00AM on www.blogtalkradio.com/styleandgrace. The show is archived so if you can’t listen to it live, you can listen to the show at your leisure. It’s a 30-minute talk show where I pray for my listeners, read scriptures and speak on matters of the heart. It’s a great motivational and inspirational show to help my ladies get through each week with style and grace.

I also started a text message subscription service where I send out daily original inspirational messages to help uplift my sisters in Christ. The messages are funny and REAL! I only send out messages that weigh on my heart! I send out scriptures or quotes to help my ladies laugh and think. It’s free to receive my messages and I only send out ONE message a day. To opt-in text styleandgrace to 555888.

So until the launch of my website please reach out to me via my radio show and subscribe to my Style and Grace text message service. You can also find me on Twitter: @flycarla, Instagram: flycarla and on Facebook: www.facebook.com/madstyleandgrace

I also want to my pray for my ladies! Send prayer requests to madstyleandgrace@gmail.com

Let’s keep in touch and please pray for me as I launch this new endeavor!

Get at me:
Carla@madstyleandgrace.com

Be blessed fly ladies!

XOXO,

Carla Thomas

Fly Read: Show Yourself Approved

3 Jul
Image found on Necole Bitchie.com

Image found on Necole Bitchie.com

I was my making my rounds on my favorite blogs and reading the reviews of the BET Awards and the story about Meagan Good and her dress was a recurring article. The commentary about Meagan Good’s dress really hit home for me because I had a similar situation. I recently moved back home and am having a hard time adjusting from living by myself in New York to living with my parents back home in Baltimore. That being said I got into a huge argument with my mother about three weeks ago because she thought I was inappropriately dressed to attend Bible study and therefore would not take me. I felt like a teenager being shunned and reprimanded because of my outfit. I had on a romper topped with a huge over-sized sweater and flats. The argument was probably one of the most serious arguments I ever had with a parent and I was so angry for two reasons: one, I am a grown woman and I can wear whatever I want and two, here we go with a Christian who is my own mother -judging.

I was heated. When I was in New York I attended Bible study every Wednesday afternoon and since I’ve moved back home, it’s been more of a struggle due to family dynamics to attend church and receive the Word as I would regularly while living by myself. Unfortunately I yelled at my mother about how she was nothing but a hypocrite. At that time I really felt in my heart that she was. Here is my own mother concerned about my attire more than my salvation. I’m not trying to be holier than thou but here I am a young woman who is yearning to go to Bible study on a Friday evening. To me that is enough, there is no more discussion, we should have just went to the Bible study. To her, an old school Christian she was more concerned about the image I was portraying. I yelled, “what image? That I’m a young adult at a Bible study on a Friday night?”

More importantly I did not feel uncomfortable or under dressed, she was more concerned about her comfort level. I went on about how Christians are so quick to judge someone without examining the true intentions of someone’s heart. Christians should only be concerned with their salvation and bringing others to Christ. What someone wears has nothing to do with where they will spend eternity. I spoke of the criticisms of Meagan Good’s dress on Twitter and one follower said two things, which reiterated my point of Christians focusing on the wrong things. I tweeted that we need to be less worried about what someone wears and more concerned about their soul and salvation, she replied with, “would you be comfortable if your first lady had it (Meagan’s dress) on? Her comfort is in question, the comfort of her husbands congregation is question.”

In 140 characters I replied with, “I’m not sure if my comfort has anything to do with her wardrobe. I am more concerned about how she serves in church.” My follower then said, “and that’s true beneath it all, sure. However her husband is a well-known pastor that’s the issue people have.” But the real the issue is in this statement, “and that’s true beneath it all.” It’s the truth-not beneath anything. The truth about being a Christian is to serve and tell others to taste and see how good God is and not to be concerned about the material things such as a dress worn to an award show.

The reality is that there is a war going on in this world and there are people who walk past a church every day wanting to go in but do not because they are afraid of being judge. The argument with my mother continued that there are Christians who get saved and then sit on this high horse acting as if they don’t have a past and now are fronting that they are all holier than thou. No one can bring a person into the church by acting like a cute saint, how can someone see how God changed you and now uses you if you are sitting there as if there was nothing to fix? God rode in to Calvary on a donkey not a stallion meaning you don’t have to be perfect to be used. He uses the Meagan Goods to bring young persons to church.

We have to get past this image of what a Christian should look like because it is deeper than a wardrobe. Our salvation is serious and saving others and bringing others to Christ is when you are being about church business especially if you are a first lady. I told my mother that I am not a nun but what I am is a child of God who yearns to serve God in spirit and in truth. My relationship with God isn’t a show and I’m not interested in putting on a show when I attend church, therefore she needed to get over this romper.

This whole controversy says two things; a woman’s body will always be a topic (you can be sexy but not too sexy and you can’t make anyone uncomfortable) and two, we are focused on the wrong things. Here we have Meagan Good who speaks freely about God being condemned yet someone who blatantly disrespects God by calling himself, Yeezus gets a pass. I was reading commentary on Twitter about the BET Awards and when Tamela Mann started singing, “Take Me To The King,” I saw tweets from people saying that they hate the gospel part of the award show and how they turned the channel. This battle as a Christian is serious and it is more serious than a wardrobe choice.

It’s ridiculous that a stripper can get a pass but a woman who publicly professes her love for Christ is called everything but a child of God because you can see side boob. After arguing with my mother I ran out the house in my romper so determined on attending Bible study even if she was not going to take me. I grabbed my Bible and starting walking down the street towards the main street in which I knew I could take the bus to church. As I’m crying and walking I past a gas station and a high school friend who lived down the street saw me. I hadn’t seen this friend in years but he was right there at the right time asking if he could give me a ride. In the aftermath of a serious argument all I could think of, was look at God. He knew my true intentions! I was a crying mess walking down the street and he brought someone along to give me a ride to church.

I told him about the fight and he goes, “she had a problem with you wearing this?” What she thought was inappropriate, my high school friend, who confessed that he hasn’t been to church in over seven years saw a determined woman making her way to a place that he hasn’t stepped foot in, in almost a decade. He was a blessing and I was a blessing to him by showing that I’m a young and active in the church.

All which goes to show that you never know how God will use you. While some are waiting to be cute saints, others like Meagan Good are walking into their purpose with a plunging neckline. In hindsight and after tearful apologies from my mother and myself, we both admitted to being extra. As a child I am supposed to practice obedience and as a Christian my mother realized that she was being judgmental.

There are some modest dressed hoes and some inappropriately dressed Christians but if you are a follower of Christ, we must realize the severity of bringing people to Christ. It’s more than a wardrobe selection and how you think someone should look. While people didn’t approve of Meagan’s dress choice, ask yourself if you are showing yourself approved to God.

Carla Thomas
Writer and Fly Girl

Fly Read: How You Doing?

26 Jun

patience

I just got in from walking down the street to see a neighbor; we went to elementary school and high school together. I knocked on the door and while he wasn’t home I talked to his younger brother who I haven’t seen in years. I asked him, how was he doing and he responds with an, “I’m alright.”

“I’m alright” or “I’m okay” or “I’m maintaining” seems to come immediately after asking a Black person how they are doing. It’s as if we are never doing more than alright or okay. We are living at a level of mediocrity mixed with a system that doesn’t assist in our improvement. We can’t even go to the grocery store without seeing a story on how bad we have it as a Black person in America. The cover of Newsweek has a story from Joshua DuBois who was President Obama’s first director of the White House faith-based initiative, and is now an author, teacher, speaker, and CEO of Values Partnerships.

The story is entitled, The Fight For The Black Man is another story of what is so wrong with Black people. I get it we have issues. Deep-rooted issues that go further than this article or an article in Newsweek on a magazine stand. Talib Kweli says it best in his song, “Get By” everything we do is just to get by. The system was not meant for us and guess what? White people will never get it nor understand why we are so impoverished and honestly, the media and stories like the Newsweek cover will continue to perpetuate the same stereotypes and/or truths about Black people without offering any type of situation.

Some Black people have gotten so used to seeing their selves in one dimension that they are starting to believe that we all act in one accord. How many times have you been in a situation where you are the minority and others believe that you speak for all Black people? The normalcy of being Black in America has been shattered. According to an agenda pushed by the government, the media and the entertainment industry, all Black men are in jail, all Black women are ratchet and not too many of us are doing better than okay.

I lived in New York and the thing about living in New York is that on one single train ride you can see the disparity of all people. I traveled from Brooklyn to the Upper East Side daily and I saw White people strung out, Black people high and Hispanic people asking for money, in this economy we are all doing so-so and all the government can talk about is what to do with a woman’s body.

As Black folk we have to be each others sense of hope, we have to inspire on the level that a village raises a child. We have to be the hope that our youth sees because they are not going to turn on the television and see it. It’s a personal fight and it doesn’t need to be thrust in our faces on some magazine with another sob story. Yes, Oprah I am talking to you with the showing of the documentary, Dark Girls.

There was a sermon from a young preacher at my church in Brooklyn that stated that God uses all persons, we don’t have to reach a certain pinnacle to be used. God rode in to Calvary on a donkey. He should be using us everyday exactly how we are, we should not be waiting to be great to be used, and we can make a difference right now.

It’s about time that we build our self-esteem in spite of our situation; we are the capstone of this country. We have a hard fight but at the very least, we can be kind in spirit, slow to anger, quick to love and doing a hell of a lot better than alright or fine.

Carla Thomas
Writer and Fly Girl

Fly Read: I Kissed Dating Goodbye

12 Jun

kiss

I refuse to let loneliness get the best of me. At times I feel like that scene in Peter Pan where he wrestles with his shadow, it’s like loneliness is trying to pin me down in a Miguel head lock. Loneliness is a human trait that everyone feels from time to time and sometimes loneliness can consume a person.

Honestly I gave up dating and I only seek to serve Christ. I often have associates try to get me to go online to look for a mate, Christian Mingle is the website people always suggest that I try. And while I don’t knock anyone who looks for love online, I can’t sell myself for the sake of being tired of being lonely. As a writer who spends all my time online, I’m already selling a brand but my heart is not for sale.

I used to work at a wine bar on the Upper East Side; it was an intimate restaurant that served great Italian food. This particular restaurant was a maven for singles on a blind date; most guests who walked in and were greeted by the host had no idea who they were looking for. I was always curious if the persons on a Match.com date really connected or was the connection based off of loneliness? Did they have similarities or was the similar feeling of loneliness enough to build a relationship on?

As I watched my big brother get married last Friday, I thought about my future and dating. Last Christmas my brother brought me a book entitled, I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Josh Harris. It’s a Christian book on dating the way Christ intended us to, the gist of the book is to be patient, embrace the period of being single, build healthy relationships and live to serve God. The author was very straightforward stating that he gave up dating to focus on God.

For me after a series of unfortunate events I realized that God is a better matchmaker than me. He knows what I need as opposed to what I think I want, so for the past two years I haven’t been on a date. The first year was easy as I spent the majority of the year reflecting on the mistakes and gathering the strength to forgive others and myself and I started to move forward. Now I realize that I cannot give everyone a piece of my heart, body and time. I know that God is still working on me and it’s not my time to start dating with intent, I should solely focus on serving Christ. To give up dating means that I had to reexamine my reasons for dating in the first place, most times I rushed into dating to fulfill my romantic needs (needs that only fulfill my selfish emotions and lust), instead of seeing the other as a friend in Christ.

You do know that some people are in hell for love. Some people are in a relationship that they have no business being in or in a marriage that they’re stuck in. Society has pushed this agenda of being single as such an awful period in one’s life when really God wants to use us the most when we’re single. It’s called a “season of singleness,” and one should embrace this precious time. “Season of singleness” is the time to exercise patience, obedience, discipline and to serve Christ. It’s the time to give him our undivided attention and to wait on his perfect timing. Waiting on his time will show you how many people will try to waste your time and you don’t want to waste God’s time. Just because a man talks to you on the phone for hours doesn’t mean that he’s interested in you, he could just be wasting more of your time than someone else’s.

The “season of singleness” will not be easy; I know it’s hard. I think I’m a fly girl who should be on a date every night but what would be the end goal? How can God bring me the correct man if I’m so busy being distracted by the wrong one? How can I serve God if I’m pursuing a man instead of him? This is the season to own your loneliness as it’s a natural human trait and once you take having a significant other out the equation, you’ll realize the significance of other relationships. You will also be able to realize the purpose that God has called for you. I often wonder where I would I be if I spent my time being concerned about the status of my relationship with some man. I would probably spend less time writing, attending Bible study, being active in church and walking into my purpose.

This summer as you watch others out on a date or post pictures of their engagement or attend the wedding of your best friend, don’t be envious. Embrace this time for all that is it worth; God has a plan for you. He is working things out in your favor; serve him with your whole heart as you wait on his time for his time is perfect and good.

Stay prayed up my friends.

XOXO,

Carla Thomas

** If you like my writing or think I need help with writing, Go Fund Me! http://www.gofundme.com/flycarla **

Fly Read: Nothing’s More Attractive Than A Heavy Praying Woman

20 May

praying_hands

“Nothing’s more attractive than a heavy praying woman
To a him when those and them been defecating on me.
Her would sense the heaven, and him when Andre omen
Baby I’m hell, save me, don’t bail…”- Andre 3000

3 Stacks said it best. As I am learning The Word, I have never felt any prettier. As I am starting to understand the instructions to live Christ like, I have more confidence, I’m more secure and I just feel really good. Living as a Christian gives me an inner beauty that no makeup could accentuate. It’s an inner beauty of knowing that if you give yourself away and let God live through you; you’re getting nothing less than the best.  God’s blessings are better than any human desires and they come by the way of faith and prayer.

Praying is the direct communication to God and it is vital for one’s faith and well-being. God instructs us to tell him everything and to pray with thanksgiving and petition. It’s not a cliché when someone says that prayer changes things! It’s true! God wants to bless you but he also wants you to acknowledge him and pray for exactly what you want. To serve God, you must humble yourself, give thanks, ask specifically for what you seek and then truly believe that your blessings will come.

It’s hard to believe what we can’t see but the blessings are worth it. Last year, I was praying for a new apartment. I loved my first apartment in New York and at first it was a blessing. I needed a place to stay, a friend hooked me up and I had my own little slice of Heaven in Bed-Stuy but within the last year, I was in dire need of a new apartment. My slice of Heaven turned into a hot mess, I was dealing with a slum lord, living without heat and hot water throughout winter all while trying to be a fly girl. I had no gas in my apartment for months because my landlord had me servicing the entire building with gas and it took ConEd months to figure out the problem and restore my gas. Unbeknown to most, I was attending Jay-Z parties and New York Fashion Week while showering at a friend’s house but even in the mist of my trails, God was still working. I then spent all of spring and summer battling my landlord in court; I was not paying rent for unsavory living conditions. I then was not only praying for a new apartment but while in my situation of going to landlord-tenant court I was praying for God to step in as a lawyer.

I battled it out with my landlord for eight months! The attorneys for my landlord had no idea that they were up against a young Howard University graduate with Jesus as her lawyer. Right before court, I would get down on my knees and ask God to step in as lawyer and once I went to court, I barely had to say anything. The landlord’s attorneys would put their foot in their mouths, God was working! Months past and I finally saw that my battle with my landlord wasn’t going anywhere. It was time for me to move, I wasn’t sad, God had seen me through months of tenant court with no lawyer so I knew he was setting me up with a new apartment. I left my apartment with no clear direction of what was next, I just packed my belongings up, stayed with a friend, continued on to work, continued to pray and exactly one week from the time I had moved out, I was approved for an apartment that I was interested in. It was a blessing! I had no idea the outcome, all I knew was that I had to step out on faith, continue to pray and believe.  God works! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. He is ever so present and He is with us at every step. It’s not a myth or a fairytale, He is real! He is still present in your current circumstance- YOU ARE NOT ALONE in whatever you are going through.

Being a woman who faithfully prays is like a man finding a wife, it’s a good thing. I don’t just pray at night, I set my alarm at 6:00AM to pray in the morning because Psalm 5:3 (KJV) states, “My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord ; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.” Praying in the morning gives me the sense of protection and strength to get through the day. I ask God to see me to through my work shift, to protect me on the train, to guard me heart and thoughts and to protect my family and friends as they go about their day. I pray that God keeps me safe and sane because I could lose my mind at any given time! I could lose hope and once you’ve lost hope, you have lost everything.  Praying puts everything in prospective and it gets us through the tough times. What if we prayed just as much as we complained?  And even though I’m not here for my enemies, I pray for them the most.

Being a woman who prays through her situation is attractive; being a woman who knows that there is a higher power breathing in her direction is way more beautiful than any makeup contouring. As the work week gets underway, remember to pray your way through it. Pray for your coworkers, pray for your family, pray for your friends, pray for your foes and God will see you through it.

 

Stay prayed up my friends.

 

XOXO,

Carla Thomas

Writer and Fly Girl

www.gofundme.com/flycarla